Tuesday Tango

'Tango' because, ten years ago when I was blogging more regularly, theme days of the week were all the rage. Thankful Thursday, Manic Monday, etc. 'Tango' because I'm dancing through my random thoughts and updates on this post.

The smoke stacks at dusk

This weekend was a very low key and random smattering of stuff. We had a heat wave locally, so it was very hot and heavy outside. The kids attended a birthday party at the bowling alley, and I went to the nearby thrift store to seek some of my wishlist items. The internet fitting hack of using your neck circumference to see if the waist of pants/shorts will fit actually seems to work! I also scored a nice black bathing suit top to go with my red high-waisted bottoms. 

Saturday night, we tried to attend fireworks put on by a local festival, but the winds were too strong. We only found out after keeping the kids up very, very late, going to a viewing location on the harbour bridge, and waiting for an extra twenty minutes because the organizers didn't communicate very well what was going on. There was a bit of disappointment but mostly everyone was tired and just wanted to go home to bed, so no tears or attitude. Both kids seemed to enjoy looking at the city lights from the bridge. 

Sunday was absolutely a swimming-at-the-lake day. My goal for the summer has been to go swimming as much as humanly possible with the kids. Once we got home, K built a hanging storage rack for our totes - this will hold most of our camping goods since we had no storage space for much of this stuff. He's very proud of it and calls it his holder holder. 

The new holder-holder

 My parents-in-law, who provide child care on my work days, were originally planning a little overnight trip with the grandkids for Monday overnight into Tuesday, but the weather forecast kyboshed that plan. Instead, they kept our kids overnight. It's always nice to not have to get the two small humans ready for such an early work day departure for childcare once in a while. Unfortunately, a close family member has a brand new case of Covid, so K and I used our night to do a supply run (it's a fair distance). 

While "down home," K asks about the small sandy beach we were combing: "This sand must be imported, right? Trucked in a long time ago?" Dear reader, I couldn't resist ribbing him since we were located in a place called Sandy Cove which, not coincidentally, got its name from being a cove full of sand. He seemed genuinely surprised sand could naturally occur at this part of the sea coast.

It's now Tuesday and my plans for the rest of the week include buying running shoes (lol but how am I going to do that if I need to take a disinterested ten year old and a six year old who LOVES to shop a little too much?), meal planning and prepping for our camping trip next week, and lying low. 

Drop me a comment to say hi if you made it through all that.

Happy Campers

 Our family was never really into camping - closest we came was, before we had children, a booking for Fundy National Park in New Brunswick that we cancelled due to poor forecast. I always maintained that we didn't have the space for all the gear in our home with limited storage space. 

But after the umpteenth summer of trying to find a reasonable accommodation for a week of cottage living that wasn't going to bankrupt us, I began to daydream of having a little camper to call our own. Sleeping on air mattresses on the ground isn't my jam, but neither is the expense of a larger trailer and something with which to tow one. I dreamed of a tent trailer much the same way that my parents dreamed of a tent trailer when I was little. 

I let my interest grow, mentioning it only in passing last fall to my husband who looked shocked but didn't shoot me down.

Then, in March, I approached K more seriously about getting a camper instead of renting increasingly-pricey cottages each summer. We decided we'd casually look for an older pop-up camper until the right one came along.

In April, the right one came along via Facebook Marketplace. It's old - old as me at thirty-six. But it still works, is easy to set up and tear down, and has introduced our family to camping. I put a lot of work and money into maintenance and gear acquisition this spring, sourcing what I could from thrift stores (pots/pans), family members with duplicates, and buying new when it was necessary. We've done two weekend trips so far, with a week-long trip coming up in early August. 

1986 Jayco pop-up camper, remodelled by previous owner

Camping is certainly a lot of work, but now we've got a fair amount of kit stored in the camper itself and that means we only need to think about clothing and food each trip. In spite of all the preparation and then all the clean-up afterward, I have found each trip restorative. Spending all day outdoors, the kids running off with campground friends, swimming when we can, not worrying about bedtimes because we'd rather the kids sit by the campfire and toast marshmallows with us - it's absolutely more than I could have hoped for. At the end of each night both kids just pass out and sleep so soundly. Do the adults sleep well? Certainly not the first night of each trip. But that's okay, we've survived.

Our set-up as of the June 23rd camping trip

Maybe in a future post I'll detail more of the work I've put into our camping set-up, but for now I was just so excited to put it all into words. 

Do you like camping? Are you a tenter or a trailer kind of camper?

Blogging With Abandon

Blogging just isn't something people do anymore, is it? The 'gram reins supreme these days, and the young people are all about tiktok. I never feel eloquent enough to manage regular tiktoks. Influencer culture seems to have started with blogging and travelled into social media where it found its truest home, and personal blogs have mostly disappeared. Some of the blogs I formerly enjoyed are now lifestyle sites that I lost interest in as someone with limited income and time. 

The thing is, I really liked personal blogs. I liked reading about the real, imperfect lives of regular people. Little by little, all my favourites stopped updating. I get it - why put in the effort if your readership has migrated away from reading? But there are those of us who still want to read. In fact, I used Twitter to do a new blog round-up today, and spent the morning reading some new-to-me blogs. It gave me hope that I'll find even more. Maybe there's still a community of personal bloggers out there. 

It's been a hot minute, or eight years, since I blogged. I was in the rigors of motherhood with my first child, and it was hard back then to find a minute. Now, as mother to a ten- and almost-seven year old, time is a bit easier to find. Maybe I should stick to a personal, private journal, but I have the drive to blog again. I want to be a voice for lives simply lived. 

Without further ado, I'll update you, or introduce you to my life in its current iteration: 

- I've been married to K for 12 years now, and together for 15 

- Though we're a military family, we've somehow managed to stay at the same location in Atlantic Canada for the entirety of ours lives together, and this just happens to be the same city I grew up near. So I'm truly grounded 'home' here. 

- We have two children: A, formerly known as Baby Bird on the blog, is now ten years old. Our daughter J is almost seven years old. 

- I work part-time at a non-profit where I started as a temp seven years ago. It's the perfect work/life balance for our family, brings in just enough income to be helpful, and allows me to not lose my mind in the event that K is deployed or away for work. I sometimes feel the tendrils of ambition try to pull me forward to match my potential, but I value the lifestyle that we have because of my current employment situation. 

- My current interests are adult beginner ballet (again! I returned to class after 11 years this spring!), slow running, and all things to do with my 2022 project of making us a Camping Family. 

I'm looking forward to writing about my 1986 Jayco pop-up camper, my adult ballet classes, and my life. 

So that's me! Now, tell me about you! Do you blog? Do you still read blogs? Don't forgot to leave a link to your blog and/or your favourites.

The Update

It's time for me to fill you in a bit on life in the past...well, frankly, I don't know how long it's been since last I posted.

First, an update on Bird. He's awesome. Just bloody awesome. I mean, he's a two-year-old, so obviously life is not always sunshine and roses, but on the whole, he's just blossoming beyond all imagination.

He has this enormous personality to match his enormous vocabulary.

• He loves vacuum cleaners, mops, pretending to drive the cars, his sandbox, the playground, his gymnastics class, etc.
• He still enjoys his "Mookie-za-zas" from me (yay breastfeeding!)
• He now sleeps in his Big Boy Bed (his crib-turned-toddler-bed) and no longer needs to be rocked to sleep - not even for naps. We have experienced some mild growing pains when he figured out how to use the door knob, but over all, he is really good and will just go to sleep when it's time. I realize this is subject to change.
• He takes Parent and Tot gymnastics classes because we wanted to encourage him to be more confident in his physical abilities. It worked. He climbs and runs like other children his age now.
• He speaks in full sentences, and his memory is scary. Like so scary. He can tell you exactly what he did a week ago if it stood out to him.
• He is full of silliness - he has recently taken to telling "jokes" which are hilarious statements such as, "Daddy says pork chop!" He loves to laugh and giggle now.

Now onto other things. When Bird was a year old, neither he nor I were ready for me to go back to a full-time job. I didn't think he was ready to be in care full-time (although in retrospect, he would have been fine), and I certainly did not want to return to a job I wasn't passionate about.  We were able to financially make it work for me to stay home, but only just barely. It has been tight.  I temporarily had a home business selling tea, have been doing some odds and ends from home, and every cent that comes into our house has been put to good use.

A year later, it feels different. Bird is older and more like his peers now in terms of how he gets to sleep, etc. He is way less dependent on exclusively Mama or Daddy. I can see him being able to adjust well to full-time care. And as for me, well, I'd sleep better at night if I knew we were saving toward some of our bigger upcoming financial goals, such as a newer car, home improvements, and let's face it, an eventual posting for my husband which would mean selling this house and buying in an unknown market elsewhere. Finally, I don't want to kid myself here - I love being home with Bird but it's not easy, and a big part of me misses working toward my career goals. Ideally, I'd be able to work part-time, but there aren't many part-time jobs in line with what I want from a career. 

As wholly as I know being home with Bird is ideal for him, I also know that we have to do what is best for our whole family. Our finances and my personal goals are part of the family so they deserve consideration as well. No matter what I choose to do, ultimately, it will be in the best interest of our family. At this point, I am job searching actively, but I have the luxury of time to be picky about what I choose. So for now, I'm still Bird's stay-at-home parent, with the knowledge that this could change at any time.  

I hope that no matter what happens, we can all find some degree of balance as a family. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't extremely sad to see my face time with Bird diminish greatly as it likely will.

Let's put this Mom War to bed.

More than any other mom war out there (breastfeeding or bottle feeding?  Attachment or traditional parenting? and so on), the one that bothers me most is the "Stay at home mom" versus "working mom" war.

There are so very many reasons why people make the choice to work or to stay home. Let's look at a few of those reasons.

Staying at home:

•  For some people, it doesn't make financial sense to work due to childcare expenses. This can be true for one child, but often comes in play for those with two or more children of day care age.
• Others feel more fulfilled spending their time with their children and are fortunate to be able to afford it (with lifestyle sacrifices for some).
• Various therapies for special needs children require a parent to be available for multiple appointments weekly.
• Some have a spouse who strongly values a stay at home parent.

Working parent:

• Some folks feel more fulfilled by remaining in the workforce.
• Others need to work to pay the bills.
• Many choose to work to provide a more financially affluent lifestyle for their children. For instance, to be able to afford two vehicles instead of one or to pay for extra-curriculars.
• Some remain in the workforce because their spouse may not be fully supportive of having a one income family.

Other variables include:

• Availability of work for each person's chosen profession in their geographical area (for instance, a military family may be posted to a base where work is difficult to find).
• Availability of suitable childcare that can accommodate shift demands (nurses, emergency services providers, etc).
• A feeling of being torn between staying home and working - unfortunately we may have to choose one way or the other while strongly identifying with both sides. This is a reality I face each day, and I'm certainly not the only one who feels that way. 

Why, then, do so many mothers spend so much time having to defend their choice or their requirement to stay at home or to work? Neither choice is easy. 

We are equally MOTHERS at the end of each day, and all day long. Being a mother doesn't get put on pause when you go to work, just as staying home qualifies as work many days.

I bet that when you are home, you give your child your attention and your love. I give MY child my attention and my love, too. I bet you make them meals and do their laundry just as I do. I bet you help them learn and grow every day in unique ways just as I do. 

Can we please take the working parent versus stay at home parent battle off the table? Let's forge a universal understanding that there are so many complexities in why people make one choice versus the other, and that we each do what we feel is in the best interest of ourselves and our children. End of story.

It's time to put this rivalry to bed, and it starts with us.

Time Marches On: year end review

It's New Year's Eve, which seems as good a time as ever to indulge in some optimistic and speculative writing.

2013 has been so full of love and light. Let's talk about the highlights:

• Bird overcame his acid reflux. Hallelujah, this was a big one for our little family. We have seen his true goofy, caring, happy-go-lucky spirit and personality shine through.
• Bird started walking right around his birthday - and put a complete end to any worry that he might be behind his peers in any way.
• Bird found his words, and LOTS of them! My personal favourites are "I love you" and "Hug!" and "Hi, Mama!". And don't forget, "Daddy home!"
• K. went and returned from a 7 week business trip. This was in no way fun, but I learned a lot about my strength as a person and mother and gained a lot of self-confidence as a parent.

Moving into 2014, I feel optimistic. I've been so incredibly fortunate, and for that I am so grateful. Now it's time to figure out how to give back to the world. My 2014 goal is service.

Ho Ho Ho, here we go, go go!

The Christmas and Holiday season crept up on us!  We're somewhat ready here in the Bird's Nest, but there is always lots more to do this time of the year.

So far, we have:

• Done 90% of our shopping, even capitalizing on some used deals and making some gifts.  For Bird, K. and his father made a Little Helper tower from this amazing website by a mom who can do it all and offers free plans so you can, too. 

Source: Ana White homemaker

• Purchased our Christmas Day turkey. We'll be entertaining my parents on Christmas Day. My mum has so wonderfully hosted most of the holiday dinners since Bird's been born, but I am perfectly able to cook a damn good turkey dinner now.  K.'s brother-in-law has generously offered to do the Christmas Dinner for the gathering for that side of the family on December 22nd. 
• Ordered our family photo christmas card.

This upcoming weekend, we'll be preparing the decorations and lights. I'm really looking forward to it.

As traditions go, we are planning the following as our family Christmas traditions:

• Opening one gift each on Christmas Eve. The plan is to make it pyjamas and maybe a Christmas book/movie.
• Taking a drive or walk and checking out Christmas lights in different neighbourhoods.
• Baking Molasses Spice cookies.
• Volunteering/paying it forward in some way, shape, or form. This year I have been volunteering with Feed Nova Scotia. Last year our whole family took up a collection of money amongst ourselves and bought gifts for needy children through our church.

What are your family's traditions? How are your holiday preparations coming along?