Tuesday, November 27, 2012

I Have a Secret

Secretly, I think I'm amazing. I think I'm special, and that I should be shouting from the rooftops about what I've managed to accomplish.

I find myself wondering if other mothers feel this way? Billions of mothers world-wide bear beautiful children in their lifetimes. Every single baby is a miracle in so many ways, but at the same time, the ability to bear and raise children is not exactly a unique trait.

Then why do I feel like I've done something nobody else can do? Like I've been let into some special sisterhood that few people are admitted into? MY baby is a miracle. MY baby was grown inside of me and continues to be nourished primarily by me now that he is thriving on the outside. MY baby has made me realize how genuinely happy I am with me, and my life, and especially my family. MY baby has basically changed me from a pessimistic, selfish, and occasionally arrogant woman into a happy, optimistic woman who is learning how to truly be generous. I feel like the Grinch - my heart grew three sizes when I delivered Baby Bird.

Baby Bird is a little bit of kismet to me. I feel strongly that he was given to us as a gift, in the exact right time for us, and for exactly the right reasons. I feel he was sent to me at this point in my life before I could become any more pessimistic or set in my ways.

New mothers are told to never wish away babyhood, because it is fleeting and will pass quickly enough on its own, leaving mamas longing to revisit those precious moments. I always believed I would "hate" the baby stage, even throughout my pregnancy. But, I can honestly say I have not wished away Baby Bird's babyhood. I soak up every cuddle, smile, giggle that I can.

Tell me, Mamas, do you have a secret, too? Do you secretly feel that you are special and accomplished because of your children?