Tuesday, December 4, 2012


I swore it would never, no, it COULD never, become me.

I'm going to say these three words just once, so treasure them. Savour them. Because you're not likely to see them in anything I write for a long, long time.

I. Was. Wrong.

It started slowly. I was in the habit of dressing decently and putting on make up daily. Then, after Bird was born and Keegan went back to work, some days I couldn't manage to do more than quickly dress in whatever I could find and throw my hair in a pony tail. It wasn't every day, though, so I felt safe because I still mostly made the effort.

Then I went from daily showers to once every two days. That was okay.

But this is day three and I'm wearing a head wrap to disguise my hair. And I'm not going to get a chance to shower until K. gets home.

Then I had to stop accessorizing because babies pull on and eat everything. So no more pretty dangly earrings, and no more necklaces, and definitely no more wearing my hair down.

In October, we got rid of cable. No more Canada AM to keep me up to only a day behind on my news or show me the latest viral video. No more Ellen show to keep me somewhat up to date on pop culture. No more re-runs of What Not To Wear.  No more watching our favourite shows the night they air. Heck, I don't even know what shows are even relevant anymore.

So here we are. I, my friends, have become uncool. Unhip. Not "with it". I'm a mom who has no idea what is happening in the world or what adults do for fun anymore. I don't know what's trendy for the winter.

What I DO know is that all of those things have become unimportant to me. One day, when I have a more independent child and I'm back in the working world, I'll probably care again. But right now, what I care about is my home. My family. My little slice of quiet heaven each morning while my son naps. Watching him learn and grow. Taking him to playgroups so he can socialize while Mama talks to other mamas going through the same thing.  I care about my studies. I care about learning and growing as a human. I care about learning to be generous of spirit and with my time. Learning to balance the motherhood side of my life with ability to still be me.

So what if that means I'm not really on top of the 'real world' right now? I'm deeply in love with my life, and indeed with living itself.

And that, my friends, is worth its weight in all those things I have let go.


gracer45 said...

I kind of love this.

There is so much pressure (whether real or imagined) for new moms to keep up with every single friggin thing in the world that they did before baby. It's just not feasible.

In my book, as long as you don't smell like a Yeti, all the living creatures in the house are being fed, and you never forget that rattails and mullets are *not* fashionable and never will be, you're fine.

In my case though, I'm scared - I'm not even starting at the daily showers and makeup stage pre-baby, so if the ratio of change is constant from mom to mom, I suppose I'll have to enter "put on fresh panties" to my daily to-do list ;)

~Brittainy said...

I know exactly how you feel!!